to: my baby

to: the girl who never wanted to get pregnant

to: the girl who never wanted to get pregnant

Photograph by Alexander MacPherson
Photograph by Alexander MacPherson

Yes, that is me and yes, I’m pregnant. I will probably get a lot of flack for saying this but I don’t want to be pregnant. I’m not saying I don’t want to have a child but pregnancy, it kind of sucks. People talk about the glow, and are all excited around you but you know what? they are not the ones who have to carry the baby inside of them for 9+months.

I’m not even saying this because I have had a tough pregnancy so far but I just never wanted to get pregnant. Giving birth seems painful, why would anyone willingly hurt themselves? and when someone does willingly hurt themselves, something is supposedly wrong with them. So, how is this any different?

Anyways, that is my mini rant. But yes, for those who don’t know yet, I am pregnant. I am sorry I couldn’t tell you in person or directly, but life is busier than ever now that I am expecting. I hope you will all understand.

This is part of the reason why I stopped blogging for a bit. I’ll explain the other parts another day, which is my warning to any of my readers who might not be interested in marriage, or babies, there will be a lot more of these posts coming up. This is now my life and I want to share it with everyone. There will be a mental health aspect to some of it though.

❤ Sarah

to: marriage

to: the boy who proposed

to: the boy who proposed

You are very brave to propose to the girl who never want to get married. I love you and even with everything going wrong, you still followed through with your plan. It’s what makes our relationship so perfect in a sense, the fact that it is so imperfect. Nothing ever works out as planned but together we make it work anyways.

A little back story before I go into how he actually proposed. Very early on in our relationship we joked about rings and proposing. After a few drunken nights (his not mine), I found out that he had a plan to propose and that he had already bought a ring. He was tight lipped about when he was going to propose but he did let it slip that he was going to do it before he started school. This was the extent of my knowledge.

The day he proposed, I was sick, which ruined his plan of getting an ice cream cake. Ice cream cakes are a favourite of ours. The day before or a few days before he proposed he tripped and hurt his hand, which ruined his plan of playing the song on the guitar.

So, what was he able to do?

He had worked that day and had come home to a sick and lazy me on the couch watching TV. He attempted to try and get me to get up and help him make dinner but I was being lazy and unhelpful. Ok, this part I’m a little fuzzy on but I remember he had started singing while we were on the couch waiting for water to boil. He had gotten up to check on the food, after he was there for a bit, I decided to get up and help. He proposed to me in the kitchen, got down on one knee and asked. I had said “yes” and kissed him but he didn’t hear me and had asked again and then I said “maybe”, then “I dunno” and then finally “yes” again.

So here is a tip boys, don’t give a girl who doesn’t want to get married too much time to think about. She might just change her mind.

So, that is our proposal story and why we decided to take pictures like this

Engagement Pictures by Alexander MacPherson
Engagement Pictures by Alexander MacPherson

And this is how the girl who never wanted to get married, got engaged.

❤ Sarah

to: marriage

to: the girl that never wanted to get married

Engagement Pictures by Alexander MacPherson

to: the girl that never wanted to get married

That was me, still kind of is to be quite honest but when you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with the person proposing, it really doesn’t matter. It’s not about just what you want but what they want as well. Mind you, I still joke that just because I’m engaged to him doesn’t mean that I’m going to marry him but he knows I love him.

I never wanted to get married. I was never the girl who dreamt about my dream wedding. Maybe it’s because I didn’t really watch or read a lot of fairytales while I grew up. Maybe it’s because to me, marriage nowadays seem like just a piece of paper that can be ripped apart at any moment. This may seem odd since I do have parents who have been together for longer than I have been alive but I’m a psychology student who took a lot of sociology classes and well we talked a lot about statistics.

You must be wondering, what has changed my mind. I have to say, meeting my fiancé has changed everything. Honestly, we haven’t even known each other for a year but somehow it just felt right. I have honestly never met a person who I have been able to be myself fully with until I met him. Our relationship is based on honesty, trust and silliness. We encourage each other because we want to be better for each other not because one of us thinks the other should be doing better. I needed someone to be with me where I am at and I’m lucky to have found that person. We don’t look down on each other. Instead we support each other with whatever we decide to do. I’m so grateful for that.

I was going to post this when I first got engaged on March 26 but it took some time to tell people that I got engaged. There will be another post that follows in a couple of days with our proposal story.

Engagement Picture by Alexander MacPherson

Last but not least, we would like to thank Alexander MacPherson for the lovely photographs. You can check him out on tumblr or on instagram. If you are in the Vancouver, BC area and are looking for a photographer, he’s awesome.

❤ Sarah